WINS, LOSSES, AND LESSONS, Lou Holtz, An Autobiography

Lou Holtz and I met years ago for the first time. He came to my high school to personally speak with me. I had been recruited by NC State, where Lou was the head coach at the time. Lou was cordial as he informed me that he was not able to offer me a football scholarship. He informed me that the scholarship limit had been significantly reduced by the NCAA and they typically recruited quarterbacks as they tended to be the best athletes. If they didn't make it as a quarterback they would try them as offensive backs, and if they didn't make it as offensive backs, they would make them defensive backs. I was a defensive back.

Years later, I was asked to deliver a presentation to a group in Boston, MA. The night before, they had a dinner for a select group. I was invited to attend and had the opportunity to sit at a designated table for speakers and guests. Lou was the guest speaker for the dinner. I reminded him of our meeting years before at my high school.

Lou was also invited to speak at a College of William and Mary Football Alumni Dinner a number of years ago which I attended.

He is a remarkable human being, he was a legendary coach and a fabulous communicator, lisp and all. My most favorite quote is from his book Wins, Losses and Lessons. His comments related to work. He said something along these lines, "If you want to be happy in life you only need to do three things.

First, you have to find something you love to do.

Second, you have to find something that you're good at.

Lastly, you need to find someone who will pay you to do, what you love to do, that you're good at.

He goes on to say that he loves to eat Snickers Bars, and he's pretty darn good at it. But, he can't find anyone that will pay him to eat them!"

Vintage Lou Holtz.

Here's the bottom line. Life is short. Find something you love to do. Because you love doing it, it isn't work, it's play, and you will be better at it than anyone, because you are pouring your entire heart and soul in to it.

To all of my clients, I would like to say 'thank you' for giving me the privilege of sharing what I love to do, with you.

If you need to reach me. Just call. 843.301.1768

Scott

Meeting On Purpose™

I read an article recently that mentioned how Oprah Winfrey kicks off every meeting with the same three questions to get everyone engaged and to set clear intentions: “What is our intention for this meeting? What’s important? What matters?”

Success leaves clues. There is a reason Oprah's been so successful. There are reasons why she gathers her team together. There are specific things she needs people to do. When she calls a meeting, people show up 'on time', when she enters the room, people take notice and pay attention, and when she speaks, people listen.

Rather than having a meeting just to 'have a meeting', Oprah Winfrey wants her team to have a specific reason(s) for calling a meeting, and she tasks her team to communicate clearly why the meeting has been scheduled. What is the Purpose of this gathering? She has mandated her team to answer the all important question... "Why are we here and what do we intend to accomplish?"

If your meetings aren't as productive as you would like them to be, then take a page from Oprah's Playbook.

Whether it's meetings, presentations or phone calls, it's our responsibility to be clear about why we are communicating and what we intend to accomplish through our listeners. What specific actions do we want people to take? What's optimal? What's imperative? What's critical? What's urgent? Like Oprah... What's important? What matters?

At Trivium Performance, we are in the meeting effectiveness business. All (4) of our Presenting On Purpose™ programs are comprehensive, intense and transformational. We have multiple programs in a variety of formats to meet your every need.

If your meetings, presentations and phone calls need to be more effective then Click This Now to visit our website or call me, Scott Hays at 843.301.1768.

Presenting On Purpose™ | Open Program

Don't Miss The Boat!

Want to be a better presenter?  Whether it’s giving a presentation, speaking at a PTA Meeting or making a sales call, we can all be better. My name is Scott Hays. I am the President of Trivium Performance. If you know me, you know that I’m a communication coach. For over 25 years I’ve been training, coaching and consulting with clients, many of which are with Fortune 100 companies. Before I became a communication coach, I was a college football player at William & Mary and I was petrified of speaking to groups. So, I decided to ‘face the tiger’. I’ve learned a lot about what makes a great communicator and would love to share that insight with you.  

We will be conducting our Presenting On Purpose™ | Open Program here on Hilton Head Island at the Harbour Town Yacht Club on September 12 and 13. Our Presenting On Purpose™ | Open Program is a transformational, 2-day, action-packed, effective communication skills seminar and is open to any individual, from any organization, in any sector.

It’s appropriate for key communicators. This includes, but is not limited to entrepreneurs, sales representatives, fundraisers, realtors, mortgage lenders, financial advisors, managers, attorneys, team leaders, high potentials, public relations, marketing executives, product specialists and human resources. It’s also particularly helpful to local business and community leaders, heads of professional organizations, members of the clergy and government employees.

This program accommodates 8 participants only. To take advantage of our pilot program offer, click on this link https://www.triviumperformance.com/open-program

Hope to see you there!

Scott

Phone: 843.301.1768

Coaching vs. Training

It's all in the words we use isn't it? Selecting the best word to use when communicating helps us to convey our message. People have attachments, beliefs, attitudes, sensitivities about words. Words are one of the tools for communicating. Just one tool, but a very important one.

Take for example the word training. Sounds innocuous enough right? Well, in reality, some people believe that training is what you give a dog to teach them to behave in certain ways. You get the dog to do something you want and then reward the dog with a treat. Pavlov figured it out.

But people are not dogs, and we don't always respond to positive reinforcement. Hopefully, we learn when we make mistakes, then correct course. So, life lessons come in all forms. Some are moments of insight and enlightenment and some are painful lessons that scar our souls.

It may simply be a matter of semantics, the term coaching as opposed to training, but I've decided to take the path of coaching. It's probably because I am an athlete. To me a trainer is someone that shows you how to do something, to execute a task, to condition you, to teach you how to operate a machine or learn a new skill. This is a critical first step, but to be exceptional, to go beyond just exercising the mechanics, human beings need individual attention, they need massaging. To me, a coach is someone that is aware that every human being on the planet is unique, they have specific talents others don't and specific 'areas for improvement' others don't. The best coaches I've had in my life worked with me to determine the optimal way for me to perform the task.

So, if you visit our website, you will see fewer references to 'training' and more references to 'coaching.' Some people are confused by this. They think we are teaching clients how to coach others. While we can do that, and do, our Communication Coaching Programs are designed to go beyond just teaching the mechanics. We are all about helping our clients uniquely prepare, design, deliver and get better results from meetings, presentations and phone calls.

If you or your company is looking for someone to help coach the players on your team to perform at higher levels, we would love to talk with you.

Call me, Scott Hays at 843.301.1768. Or shoot me an email at shays@triviumperformance.com

The Hard Truth About Soft Skills

A recent study in Bloomberg Next entitled Building Tomorrow’s Talent: Collaboration Can Close Emerging Skills Gap, sponsored by Workday, highlights how skills needs have changed due to new technologies and the evolving nature of work, how academia is not doing enough to prepare new graduates, and the critical importance of soft skills for both new graduates and existing workers so they are prepared for today’s and tomorrow’s workplace.

“The soft skills are the most important and the toughest to master,” said Marina Gorbis, executive director of the nonprofit Institute for the Future, which helps organizations plan strategically for the long term.

5 Most Important Soft Skills:

1. Team-working skills (coordinating and collaborating with others)

2. Analytical reasoning/critical thinking

3. Complex problem solving

4. Agility and adaptability

5. Ethical judgment

5. Decision-making

*Decision-making makes the top five for corporate respondents, while ethical judgment makes the top five for academic respondents.

“Employees need to have the skills to work with different stakeholders both internally and externally,” said Tensie Whelan, director of the Center for Sustainable Business at New York University’s Stern School of Business. “They have to figure out how to build trust, alliances, and win-win situations, all with soft power, through persuasion.”

The Bottom Line: The 'Hard Truth' about 'Soft Skills' is that academia is not providing a strong enough foundation for graduates coming into the workforce and companies are not investing enough in these critically important 'soft skills' for their existing employees.

At Trivium Performance we work with individuals and teams to help them prepare (Think), design (Create), and deliver (Communicate) more effectively in meetings, presentations, phone calls and video conferences.

If you or someone you know can benefit from our work, please call us at 843.301.1768 or visit our website www.triviumperformance.com

Constructive Coaching

Have you ever been criticized by a superior, a cohort, a spouse, a client? How did it feel? Did it empower you to be better, did it inspire you to do more, or did it pop your bubble?

Good coaches are hard to find. Some are too nice. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Others are too tough. They end up chopping the legs out from under people, promoting severe, long-lasting insecurity and under-performance. Lastly, some are too general. They simply are not specific as to what it is they like and/or what it is they feel needs improvement.

While our intention may be to help others be better, the truth is, we may be doing the opposite. Instead of helping others, we may be demoralizing them, demeaning them, and destroying them. Not good.

Here's an idea. Try praising them first. Find something specific you can credit them with. Give them accolades for something you deem admirable. Then identify something else you see as positive. Then identify another observation of them that you genuinely like. Then encourage them to keep doing those things.

Then, and only then, can we offer some 'areas for improvement.' We recommend you phrase it that way too! Stay clear of saying things like... "Here's what I didn't like." or "Here's what sucked." or "Here's what I hate." or "Here's what didn't work."

The result, you will find, is that the individual we are coaching, is able to clearly identify, recall and repeat the things that you deemed positive and are therefore encouraged to continue doing those things. At the same time, you have helped them identify one or two areas that you feel may need some improvement or modification.

It's also important to note that not everyone sees things the way we do. This is simply our opinion. It is but one perspective. Others may view it differently.

So, now it's your turn. Let us know your take on this article. If you Like It, then please Like It and tell us why. If you see areas for improvement, please share your thoughts. Lastly, if you or someone you know, has a need for some constructive communication coaching, please visit our website at www.triviumperformance.com. Or simply call us directly at 843.301.1768 to talk!

#Coaching #Feedback #Criticism #Criticizing #Confront #Communicate #Communication #Communicating #Presentations #ConstructiveCoaching #EffectiveCommunication #EffectiveCoaching #CoachingTechniques #CoachingTips #CoachingInsight #CoachingOthers #CoachingEmployees #CoachingExecutives #CoachingPeople #CoachingHints #CoachingPerspective #CoachingPhilosophy #Feedback #FeedbackLoop #ConstructiveFeedback #OpenHonestCommunication #Helping #HelpingOthers #HelpingEmployees #HelpingTeammates #HelpingPeople 

Personal Insight Into Public Speaking

Public Speaking. There, I said it. Public Speaking. I said it again. Don't you LOVE to speak in public? Some do. But most don't. Why? Because it's nerve racking!!! It makes us feel uncomfortable. It's the Number #1 Fear people have. It actually trumps death! This factoid prompted Seinfeld to say... "That means people would rather be 'in the coffin' than 'giving the eulogy'!"

I know! That was me! As a young boy, at school, I was asked to speak to my classmates. I tried, but it didn't go so well. My classmates laughed at me. I was embarrassed.

In college I took a class in public speaking. Unfortunately, it was more about writing than it was about human behavior. I learned that being prepared was important, but what I didn't learn was how to solve the real problem.

I played football at The College of William and Mary. On Wednesday nights during the season, select players were asked to go to 'The Quarterback Club,' a group of local alumni, business professionals and other W&M Football enthusiasts. I can remember the discomfort I experienced when we were asked questions by the members.

After I graduated from college I was asked to do the color commentary for WMBG, the William & Mary Football Network. Needing cash, I accepted. The athletic director and I both thought this might be a good fit. It wasn't. The anxiety I experienced being 'on air' with potentially thousands of listeners took its toll. I lasted one game.

I kept asking myself..."What's wrong with me?" I knew I had a problem, but I didn't know how to solve it. I decided I needed to 'face the tiger.' So, I cashed in an IRA and invested in a corporate training business. I did it for one year. I didn't make much money, but I really enjoyed facilitating the programs. Sharing with people valuable information that they could use to be more effective helped me become more effective. So essentially, by helping other people, I got the help I needed.

There's a saying... "A teacher always teaches what he or she needs to learn the most."

That was 29 years ago. Poof!  I'm fortunate to be able to do what I love to do for a career. Seeing participants literally transform themselves in a relatively short period of time is tremendously fulfilling. My gift is in the giving.

So, do you sometimes get butterflies when you have to speak in public? Here's a little golden nugget. "Nerves come from an inappropriate direction of focus. "Nerves come from focusing on yourself. That's right, the butler did it... and you're the butler!

Here's my close. If you or someone you know is looking for an experienced and empathetic communication coach to help them get the butterflies to 'fly in formation', please visit our website www.triviumperformance.com and/or call me directly at 843.301.1768.

#Nerves #PublicSpeaking #Presenting #NervousPresenting #Anxiety #AnxietyPresenting #TheNumberOneFear #SpeakingInPublic #Nervousness #PresentingInPublic #GroupPresentations #WhereDoNervesComeFrom #TheButlerDidIt #FacingTheTiger #FaceTheTiger #Presentations #FearOfPresenting #FearOfPublicSpeaking #TakingRisks #ComfortZone #PersonalGrowth #ProfessionalGrowth #Presentations #PresentationSkillsTraining #CommunicationSkillsTraining #EffectiveCommunication #ExecutiveCoaching

TAKING RISKS. FOR A CHANGE.

Years ago, I was in Chicago, about to commence my first Message Consulting | Team Project with a client. I approached the women sitting behind the central reception area. I greeted her with pleasantries and we began a short conversation. Then I noticed something. It was a small picture on the inside of her work area. It read...
’Change is Good. You go first!’ I will never forget that moment, nor the tremendous meaning behind it, and the lesson it teaches us.

Change is often good. Not always, but often. When change occurs, we see things in a new way, from a different perspective, often times a better way, a clearer way. The change opens up our minds, it liberates us from the mundane, the repetitive, the traditional, and often times, the now purposeless or even inappropriate past.

However, because it’s different, we experience discomfort. It’s unfamiliar territory. At times, it can threaten what we’ve done before, and the righteousness of our past behavior. It can make us feel ‘less than.’  It can ‘make us wrong,’ and we don’t like to be wrong, ever, do we?

We are all guilty of hanging on to ‘what we know’ longer than we should sometimes. We choose to hang on to ‘what we’ve always done’ in lieu of venturing out in to the unknown,  uncharted terrain, and taking a risk. Why?  Because we don’t want to fail. We don’t want to be embarrassed, we don’t want to look stupid, we don’t want to be ridiculed, and we don’t want to lose.

So, let’s look closely at this dynamic. We let our fear of failure prevent us from learning, from growing and possibly enjoying greater success. We should take a page from Thomas Edison’s book. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

If you believe that change is in order for you or your team, here’s a recommendation. Take it slow. Make small modifications, take gradient steps outside of your comfort zone. Gather new information, new insight, as you stretch. Before long, you’ll experience personal growth and professional growth in leaps and bounds.

If you or your team is in need of some healthy 'Change', that's Good! Be one of the First to visit our new website www.triviumperformance.com then give us a call at 843.301.1768.

#EnvelopeExpansion #Change #ChangeIsGood #FearOfFailure #TakingRisks #ComfortZone #PersonalGrowth #ProfessionalGrowth #Presentations #PresentationSkillsTraining #CommunicationSkillsTraining #EffectiveCommunication #ExecutiveCoaching

Selling. The True Story

There are two critical components in any successful sales initiative: A Great Story (presentation(s) and Great Story Sellers (presenters).

First, we need to have a Great ‘Story.’ I use that word judiciously, because too often people associate the word ‘story’ with fiction. In this context, it is anything but fiction.

Your ‘Story’ is the ‘Real Story.’ It’s the total truth. Your Story’ is just that… it’s ‘Your Story.’ It’s how you got in the business, it’s about a problem you had and how you solved it. It’s about something you did for fun and how it turned in to a career. It’s about your marriage, and how the dreams you had were washed away by the tears you shed, and how God became a real, living God. 

It’s about where you were when the light bulb came on, and your great idea was born. It’s about losing a loved one, and how you were overwhelmed by the kindness bestowed on you by people, some you did not even know. Stories touch people's heart, they relate to people in ways, facts and figures never will.

What’s your ‘Story?’ 

In addition, we need to be great ‘Story Sellers.’ Our ‘Story’ is our story because we had an experience, a life event. That ‘life event’ affected us in a way that transformed us for the better. It took us down a path, on a journey of discovery, and because we followed the path, we learned something. Now we want to share it with others. 

To not share our story with others would be selfish. It would be like ‘hoarding water from people that were dying of thirst.’ If we look at it closely, we would see that by NOT sharing our ‘Story’ we are doing people a disservice. So, when I refer to being a ‘Story Seller,’ I’m referring to the person that wants to ‘help’ other people by sharing their Story. We need to be that person. We need to be that ‘Story Seller.’ Because ‘selling,’ truly ethical selling, is about asking questions, listening to what people tell you, then sharing the ‘true story’ with others with an intention to genuinely help that other person. 

At Trivium Performance, that’s what we do. We help our clients Think, Create and Communicate.

If you’d like some help crafting a Great Story (presentation(s) and/or some help with your team becoming Great Story Sellers (presenters), visit our website  www.triviumperformance.com  then give us a call at 843.301.1768.

Selling People. Not Products.

Years ago, I had a participant in one of my seminars deliver a presentation. He was poised and professional, yet his presentation was lacking pathos (emotion) so I recommended he open up a little, share something personal.  

Well, he thought about it, and wrote some things down. A while later, I asked him if he would like to try it again. He started his presentation by telling the audience the name of his company, how it was family-owned and how proud he was to work for them. Then he opened up his heart. He told us that family was important to him. He shared with the group that his mother had passed away when he was only 4 years old. The room became so quiet you could here a pin drop. By being willing to open up his heart and tell us about losing his mother he was able to win the hearts and minds of his audience.

I tell you this story because it illuminates the power of story. Sometimes we forget that we are selling people, not products. Stories touch peoples heart, they relate to people in ways, facts and figures never will.  

What’s your Story?

If this short story touches your heart, visit our website  www.triviumperformance.com   then give us a call at 843.301.1768.